Christmas morning is here, my dear,
And that means treasures, but I fear
You’ve gotten older so must be advised
That childish things should be despised.
For proof, look around
Not a whimsical soul is to be found.
Your father is grim, your mother so serious
Joy and glee are things mysterious.
Your uncle is glum, his wife so dour
Their solemnity could wither a flower.
And Poppi! Well, don’t get me started!
Wait! Was that a smile? No. He just farted.
Nonni is so doleful, the truth must be told,
This is what it’s like when you get old.
So stop smiling and hide that smirk
Buckle down, young lady, and get to work.
By now, you’ve noticed that something’s amiss,
You’re thinking, “I don’t know anyone like this!”
Here’s the key to this year’s expedition:
Reverse the clues and you’ll succeed in your mission.
To get started, just take my advice
And look for the place where we keep ice.
This treasure hunt is really boring
In a few minutes, you’ll prob’ly start snoring
Might as well call it a day
You don’t want your present anyway.
It’s ugly, it’s cheap, it just won’t do.
Frankly my dear, it looks like poo.
But if the next clue is what you aspire
Use this tool to start at fire.
Boo! Hiss! This is just awful!
Treasure hunts should be unlawful.
Don’t blame me, it isn’t my fault,
Why not spice things up with a bit of salt?
Now my head is beginning to ache
And my lower intestine is starting to quake.
If I had my druthers, I’d be in bed.
And you’d bring me the cap I wear on my head.
(in my shoe)
This rhyme is giving me the creeps
While the spirit of Dr. Seuss weeps.
To find a present that’s yours for keeps.
Look above the place where the old guy sleeps.
Under my nephew’s crib, she found this purse.
I used the Margeret bag tutorial from O, Fransson! The outside is embroidered microsuede and the inside is this poly satin:
I love this fabric — for some reason, it makes me think of all those rock-n-roll ass-kickers who came up in the 70s and 80s like Joan Jett and Chrissie Hynde, with a little Heart and Stevie Nicks thrown in for good measure. (I’m pretty sure my niece has no idea who any of these ladies are…..a pity.) I have enough of the microsuede and the satin left to make myself a scarf (I’m thinking an extra long and skinny rock-n-roller).
The pattern calls for an extra lining of flannel to give the bag more body and shape; with the microsuede it probably wasn’t really necessary, since it’s pretty hefty already, but I left it in. She also recommends a two-inch pleat for the shoulder bag version, but I didn’t like the way that looked so I ripped it out and did the one-inch pleat instead. It’s a great pattern and I love this style purse — I may have to make one for myself one of these days.