
I keep expecting that I will get back to sewing any day, but the truth is that I am completely immersed in my dissertation. This is joyful both because it must get finished this year and because there is nothing so invigorating as well-loved work. I make a pot of tea and put on my “studytime classical” playlist (jazz is for reading, classical is for writing) and set to work. Lately, I have even been working into the evening, though I have also taken to reading novels at night. I just finished Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier–an unexpectedly profound meditation on the female condition. (Somebody else read this too, so we can talk about it.)

I have been tracking autumn on the Prospect Park hill, watching the Troy sign slowly emerge as the summer greenery recedes back into its winter den. I watch the leaves fall from the trees, scuttle across the rooftops and twirl in the air in quick little flurries. Maple seedpods helicopter past my window. Last week the wind picked up and by today most of the leaves were gone from the trees, though they lie in the streets and on the sidewalks in big tempting piles. Other people skirt them, but I trudge right through, kicking them up with my feet.

As the late afternoon sun turns the hill orange, hundreds of crows rise up and circle in the skies. Later they will roost in the trees and christen the cars below. Some people want to get rid of the Trojan crows for this reason, but I love them. When they suddenly swoop up in the late afternoon to whirl and jabber in the sky overhead, it takes my breath away. Death’s familiars, but not to be feared, just helping the day to its end.

In Western mythology, crows have long been seen as symbols of death, but in The Women’s Dictionary of Symbols and Sacred Objects, Barbara G. Walker writes that “Romans regarded the crow as a symbol of the future because it cries Cras, cras (Tomorrow, tomorrow).”

(All the black flecks in the sky are crows.)

November 4, 2009 at 9:50 am
Lovely ruminations — and good for you re: getting your dissertation on! The stitching can wait while the writing muse visits.
November 5, 2009 at 8:34 am
Thanks, J4. You are right — when the muse stops by, one had better invite her in for tea because there’s no telling how long her visit will be.
November 4, 2009 at 2:00 pm
My Dad suggested I read Rebecca while I was still in junior high school; it has remained one of my all-time favorites. There is also a sequel named “Mrs. DeWinter” by Susan Hill. Not as good as the original but still enjoyable. The Hitchcock movie is worth seeing as well.
November 5, 2009 at 8:37 am
I cannot bear to read sequels by other authors, even though I understand that Hill was invited to write the sequel by the du Maurier estate (though that sounds like money-grubbing to me). It’s funny that I have seen the Hitchcock film at least once, if not more, and yet I could not remember the plot, so the book felt fresh to me. It will definitely be worth re-reading more than once.
November 5, 2009 at 5:43 am
I love your writing.
I have long loved crows also, probably for the last 8-10 years. In fact one of the tattoos that I am considering has a crow and a seal on it surrounded by Celtic knotwork. Celtic mythology has the crow as the symbol of dark powers or forces, our shadows. I like the idea of owning the shadow and not being overwhelmed by it.
November 5, 2009 at 8:42 am
Thanks, Kim. The tattoo sounds like a good one for you. Are seals symbolic? I know you see them when you run, so maybe personally so, but is there a cultural mythology around them too?
There is something so elemental about the hoardes of crows — I just looked it up and it’s really a murder of crows, isn’t that fantastic?! — rising up in the air in the dusk and swirling in the skies. Maybe the real reason folks despise them is not that they poop on the cars but their association with death and the dark forces.
November 6, 2009 at 7:16 am
Beautifully imagined and beautifully written. You have a gift for seeing time, and space, and relationships, then rendering all in a way that lifts us all.
November 6, 2009 at 8:03 am
Thanks for your very kind words, Dad. xo